Conan O’Brien is letting you choose his Twitter bio. He’s also helping you out if you missed any Oscar-nominated movies. Charlie Sheen is crazy / high as balls, kind of funny. You’ll never believe this, but Glenn Beck said something stupid. A man in Ohio proposed to his girlfriend by purchasing a television commercial, thus upping the ante for all men. The Boston Celtics traded Kendrick Perkins because…well, no one really knows why. The Bulls, meanwhile, just knocked off Lebron and the Miami Heat for the second time this season.

And finally, “sexting” is officially in the dictionary, which makes it legal. THAT’S HOW THE LAW WORKS, PEOPLE.